| - Alive in this Moment So this has been an interesting couple weeks. I'm journaling here, less for people to read, but more for me to have this on record myself, so this IS going to be a long one, just FYI.
For the past year I've been entertaining my urges to go out and meet more people through happy hours and clubs/parties. I really didn't know why I had all these urges suddenly, but I just went with them. My reasons were... I need non-college friends, and what settings do I thrive in? These social settings. So... I would just be how God made me, and be in the social context that I operate well in. And part of this was also to meet more non-Christians... cause I'm very well entrenced in the bubble. Just to be cleawr... I wasn't looking for projects... I was looking for people to become friends with, and through new friendships that God could do something to bless us both, whether they knew Him or not.
Well, its been almost a whole year since I've been going out and trying to meet people... to limited success... really until recently. And this is not a finished report by any means... stuff is still going on.
One thing that God had told me was that I would be an evangelist, and honestly, I have not personally seen anyone come through that moment of salvation. I know I've sown plenty of seeds, and I'm fine with that. The funny thing is I give advice on evangelism, and consult with people on their efforts... but have never seen anyone come to Christ But I was kinda thinking... "Um... how am I supposed to encourage evangelism and lead efforts if I can't tell people that I've brought people to Christ myself." Honestly, I wasn't worried that I've been more a sower than a reaper... but more worried for my ministry credibility to those who want to see the reaping part of evangelism if I am to be propogating and leading evangelism efforts. So... I STILL haven't seen that final fruit yet through something I have been direct a part of... but it looks really darn close right now. So I'll keep you updated...
But to go one with this whole trying to make friends through the bar/club scene...
So I always pray for God to connect me with the people He wants me to connect with, and to represent Him the best way possible... and of course... to just have fun! And of course I was always nervous about being a Christian at these events... how would people react... is this really what I'm supposed to be doing or am I just justifying it?... how should I behave?
Lately I've just relaxed, and just been myself, and more straight up with people. With drink in hand, I tell people I'm going into full-time ministry, not really too concerned how they'll react. But with the few people that I've said that too, I've seen some very interesting results.
This one girl, after finding out I'm Christian and doing ministry, starts just bringing up God into the conversations... like... over and over again, I honestly never initiated any part of our conversations about God. She has evidenly has been thinking about God and truth for a while, to a point lately where it is something that is consuming her thoughts. I immediately recognized her as someone God was drawing to Himself. It wasn't really even subtle. She wasn't Christian, but knew that God was real, and wanted to find out more about Him, and that was a lot of what we talked about... who God was, and how He works.
Trying to follow the example Jesus set... where He watches what the Father is doing on joins Him, I did the same. It was obvious to me that God was working with this girl, and thus... I opted to join in and see why God brought our friendship about, so I asked her if she wanted to get together and hang out, esp after all our AIM conversations.
So we get together just to hang out and talk on Tuesday, and of course... the conversation turns to God, and I keep wanting to reference Scripture to answer some of her questions, to show her I wasn't making things up. But I didn't have a bible. So we're walking past the Penn bookstore and she asks me a question, and I want to pull out this verse... so I'm like "bah! Lets make a quick stop" and we go into the bookstore, and I head for the bible section.
Now get this... earlier she was saying that even though she thought the bible was good, she didn't like it when people emphasised the bible as the way to God and was a little scared to read it, and didn't really want to.
So as I'm looking for a small pocket bible to buy for myself (I don't have a small pocket bible, only these huge ones with 4 translations or the original greek..., or the classic student study bibles) and while I'm doing this, she decides she wants to buy a bible for herself, and asks me to help her pick one out.
I'm like... "um... weren't you just saying...?" But hey, who am I to fight her on this. 
So we pick out a study bible for her, and I found out... she went home that night, and started reading through it before she went to bed at 1AM. And then woke up at 5:30 and started reading again. And after work that day... continued to read. Basically everyday since this past Tuesday! I'm just in awe and amazement... and feeling highly priviledged and honored... because honestly, I felt I've done so little. I don't think I ever initiated conversations about God with her, nor did I tell her to buy a bible, nor tell her that she needs to become Christian... It was honestly, completely all God! She would jokingly ask me alot "Mike... are you trying to make me Christian?" And I would always be like "dude girl... i'm never the one that brings up God in our conversations, its all you! And you decided to buy a bible, I didn't tell you to!" Ha ha, so I can't take ANY credit for it, and I can definitely say I wasn't trying to "convert" her... I really didn't have to try. God was so drawing her, that it made it easy. The very fact that she would ask me if I was converting her in that joking way... I knew and knew and knew... that if she would ask me that in the way she did... that God was doing something in her heart.
I don't think she's quite made that salvation step yet. But I honestly can say, that I'm not that worried about it happening. She's not comfortable enough to come to church yet, but at the same time, I'm not asking her to either... its not about getting a person to church anyway, its all about introducing them to God, and most of that goes on outside Sunday mornings. BUT... she just did agree to come to my fellowhip's opening bbq tonite! I honestly had no ulterior motive to get her into the Christian community, I just wanted to hang out, and I happend to be hanging out with Christians at a bbq today.
I wrote to my friend afterwards... lemme know if this makes sense...
"Just got an letter from my friend ---, the girl I met at the happy hour and been talking to about God. Well, its been so fun just watching God draw her.... honestly, He's just like... all over her right now... and I almost feel I just came along to watch God do it, because I honestly don't feel like I did or said anything significant to make a change in her. But of course thats how it always works, we just join the Father in what He is doing, knowing that HE is the one doing most of the work. I'm just thankful to have been there and present and to help give a nudge here and there to whatever God was already doing. It was almost as if He knew He could do it all Himself, but wanted me involved somehow. Like a father pushing a heavy wheelbarrow, completely able to do it himself, but wanting to include his 5 year old son, inviting him over and saying "can you help me" and has the son just hold one of the handles with him... and after finishing moviing, the father going "great job!" even though he never really needed the extra help. Is that too abstract? I dunno I'm just rambling cause I'm just so amazed. It almost feels like God winked at me, and said "hey could use some help here" with this girl, and brought me in at the critical moments, not really to do the work, but to be part of one of His favorite parts of His job, and then afterwards tells me "good job!" even though I hardly did a thing. He not only let me watch Him work this time, but also be a part. I think God just really enjoys having us be apart of what He is doing, even though He could do it Himself."
Pray... I have a feeling she may make the salvation choice sometime soon, maybe even tonite! I'll will let you know when it happens! 
So story number 2... this one is still developing as well...
Last night I went to an ICON event and I ran into some Penn graduates from my year. 2 of them were also lambdas (the asian frat) back in the day. So we're going to drive to someplace to eat and grab a few drinks, and one of the guys rides with me. We talk, and he asks what I'm doing and I say I'm transitioning to full time ministry. He was a little surprised, as most people are in the bar/club scene ha ha, but it wasn't a bad surprise. He goes on to tell me that he is actually starting to start to go to church a bit himself. That he's looking for faith... or more so letting faith faith him. That was most of our conversation on religious stuff for the next couple hours. But at the end of the night when we were parting ways, we exchange contact info and he says "give me a call, maybe I'll come to church with you sometime."
I'm kinda in amazement... cause that was hours after our 1 minute conversation about religion, but it evidently made an impact. I'm a little cynical, and worried that he might be saying that just out of courtesy, or if he thinks that is what I want to hear... but at the same time, I really think that he was serious, cause thats not something you throw around as a departing clause. "call me sometime, we'll hang out"... sure... but not "call me sometime, lets go to church" especially from a non-believer.
So I'm very curious as to what may develop here... when I look back now... I do recognize some signs that God is drawing him, I can sense something going on in him and recognize God's hand. It definitely is more subtle than my other friend... well, for now at least. I've only just met this guy and we didn't talk much. But we'll see.
This made me realize several things... If I just be myself and open myself to letting God use me, and don't try to hide my Christianity, or find a "safe" way or time to express it... stuff happens! And I don't have to pressure people to talk about God, all I do is just answer honestly... and if God is something that was relevant to what I was talking about I say it. And what happens is people respond and start asking back. I often wonder how many opportunities I have missed just because I was afraid to tell people I was Christian in certain contexts. When I tried to hard or worried to much... it seemed like not much fruit would come out... but when I just relaxed and was myself, and had no specific motives to try to "convert" all this stuff started happening!
Please pray... for me and for both these friends of mine and whoever I meet next, and my efforts to stir up evangelism on my campus and churches. My friend is now asking me about baptism... Salvation is here, and revival is coming. |
